Turn 3

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LK - Lady Katrijn
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Re: Turn 3

Post by LK - Lady Katrijn » Mon Apr 04, 2022 9:41 pm

DM Juan wrote:
Mon Apr 04, 2022 12:55 pm
Hey, sorry. I have been busy, yes. But that isn't really the root issue (more an excuse, I guess). I had a kind of mini melt down, and fundamentally find a lot of the in game communication has become horribly toxic. I just don't want to read it, or deal with it. Frankly, I cannot deal with it anymore... I don't really know how to move beyond that, at this juncture. Maybe it has become too large and sprawling and need to tri the size, but over the last couple years, interactions have become more and more unpleasant and eventually I just cannot do it anymore.
Sorry to hear it be so bad. Hoping I am not one of those causing it. Moved to another domain to avoid stress and anxiety.
---

Katrijn the Crimson Blade
Mayor of Hamein

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TH - The Hunt
Emperor
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Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 4:27 pm

Re: Turn 3

Post by TH - The Hunt » Mon Apr 04, 2022 10:23 pm

That's how it's felt for me, too, so I understand. I've been waiting to see if things might turn around, but it's nice enough just not having to stress out about interactions with players whose main goal seems to be to make the game as unpleasant as possible, and whose main methods seem to be trolling and stoking tensions.

John, in particular, only seems to care about how his playstyle affects others only because he wants to maximize the amount of misery, and he's taken it to such an extreme I can't care about anything in the game except neutralizing his ability to keep doing that. So, yeah... I do think trimming down the number of players would be a way forward. If, without him, others would take his place, then the game would need some more trimming. In theory we shouldn't have anyone here who wants to make the game miserable, games are supposed to be fun.

The vast majority of the players we've had don't drag things down at all. The main reason RP and engagement have been limited for most is because most players keep their heads down to avoid 'punishment' for taking a stance that doesn't help the most aggressive players. Or in other words, to avoid getting trolled or facing narcissistic rage. So it's not the size of the game, per se, that's the problem.

Just because a group has 25 or 30 people in it doesn't mean some of them have to be trolls, or bullies, or sadists, or psychopaths. There likely will be if the whole group is selected at random, but it's possible to filter out players whose goals don't align with the goals of the game. To keep this game (or any other game) worth playing--especially on the Internet, where people who behave this way don't just get kicked out the first time they say something incredibly disturbing--that filtration needs special attention. I've seen what happens without it over and over again, and one time was already too many.
"The Hunt rides. The Hunt protects."

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YK - Yuri Khavlor
King
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Re: Turn 3

Post by YK - Yuri Khavlor » Tue Apr 05, 2022 11:16 am

You do a good job Juan. I had written off Birthright PBEM as a concept for years until I was convinced to join your Taelshore game. You have restored my confidence that such games are possible. Of course it has to be a labour of love, for a DM's game to have any kind of longevity, so there is no shame in wrapping things up if its spoiled. I always try to be the kind of player, I would want as a DM. In the absence of a game compact that's the best I can try for.

The answer might be to restart with a smaller group, or turning things over an enjoy being a player. During your time off, remember the good stuff and what you achieved. Don't let the negatives take away from what you have accomplished over the years.

If you are ever doing something new, I am certainly on board if you are looking for another player.
YK - Yuri Khavlor
Lord Mayor of Lyssan
“Nature is not cruel, but pitilessly indifferent. The hardest lesson for one to learn, is to admit that things might be neither good nor evil, but simply callous -- indifferent to all suffering"

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CSF - Flint
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Re: Turn 3

Post by CSF - Flint » Tue Apr 05, 2022 11:33 am

AP - Akilli Padishah wrote:
Tue Apr 05, 2022 11:16 am
You do a good job Juan. I had written off Birthright PBEM as a concept for years until I was convinced to join your Taelshore game. You have restored my confidence that such games are possible. Of course it has to be a labour of love, for a DM's game to have any kind of longevity, so there is no shame in wrapping things up if its spoiled. I always try to be the kind of player, I would want as a DM. In the absence of a game compact that's the best I can try for.

The answer might be to restart with a smaller group, or turning things over an enjoy being a player. During your time off, remember the good stuff and what you achieved. Don't let the negatives take away from what you have accomplished over the years.

If you are ever doing something new, I am certainly on board if you are looking for another player.
This goes double from me. Every other game I have heard of lasted 2 turns. I met a lot of awesome people here, and thoroughly enjoyed the vast majority of my interactions. I hope you can find a way to find enjoyment again, and let me know if there is anything I can do to help, as always.
Captain Shanol Flint

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TF - The Fortress
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Re: Turn 3

Post by TF - The Fortress » Tue Apr 05, 2022 12:40 pm

I've enjoyed your games for almost a decade now, thanks for all the time and hard work you put into it!

And thank you for helping me with Birmail these past few months!

As always, anything you need - let me know. You've been a great friend and DM!
The Fortress!

Morwe of Cuiraécen

Face each day like a storm;
Respect it;
Fear it;
Endure it;
Thrive in it!

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LMC - Lord Mayor Cowell
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Re: Turn 3

Post by LMC - Lord Mayor Cowell » Tue Apr 05, 2022 4:49 pm

I have enjoyed it greatly juan. Hope you find it to be fun again, Ill almost certain join if you restart, if welcome

Was going to check when EM started - unfortunately I changed mails in February 2013 so my earliest saved mail was from Torova, but that is a heck of a long game(s) where most is single digits of turns.
Lord Mayor Cowell VI

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RaH - Rassan al Hamam
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Re: Turn 3

Post by RaH - Rassan al Hamam » Tue Apr 05, 2022 9:46 pm

Sorry to hear this. Really enjoyed these games!

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AaH - Avicerra al Hamam
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Re: Turn 3

Post by AaH - Avicerra al Hamam » Wed Apr 06, 2022 2:48 pm

It was a blast Juan! Amazing dedication you have shown through the years! Not many could have kept this going so long if any at all.

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TH - The Hunt
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Re: Turn 3

Post by TH - The Hunt » Wed Apr 06, 2022 4:27 pm

I don't know if I could handle the bookkeeping and unit tracking if I were running it. I know that used to be the most difficult part of running it, before the trolls committed to metgame psychological warfare to try to remain in control of everything. It takes more than the efforts of one person to make things work, and no small amount of energy to deal with the ones who take pleasure in making it harder, as well. Especially when we can't work together.

I haven't enjoyed more than a few moments of the game since D1. It's been a long time since it seemed like we could stand up to the bullies in the playerbase, instead of letting them run things their way while everyone else had to play along with them, or else find a corner to tuck away into while they remade the game world in their own image, using whoever was handy as their tools to do it. I'm more than ready to move on, though I'd been holding on to hope we could do that by freeing up and building on what we've invested in, rather than by discarding it.
"The Hunt rides. The Hunt protects."

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HaQ - Hakim al-Qadr
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Re: Turn 3

Post by HaQ - Hakim al-Qadr » Wed Apr 06, 2022 7:32 pm

Circa March 2012 is when EM started I believe. So 10 years ago.
Turn to Avani before you return to Avani
Hakim al-Qadr
Mayor of Barniere

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